cats- pretending to be docile until human comes to pet you, letting them nuzzle you with their hand, and then quickly applying claws to their skin.
- putting toys on things you are not allowed to play with, so when humans go by, they can't get mad at you
- hiding in boxes/dresser drawers to cause confusion in humans
- walking into the refrigerator when open, not coming out--not even when human closes door on your midsection
- eating guitar strings
- getting on counters and table over and over and over again, despite humans saying "NO" and hitting you--just mew and pretend like you don't understand, and then they feel bad and cuddle you instead
- getting on counters and table when they're gone and playing with forbidden toys
- sitting in various receptacles (unused laundry baskets, plastic bins, cardboard boxes) and watching the humans do whatever they're doing
- interrupting coitus by getting on the bed and just checking it out
- investigating male human's groin area just after he gets out of the shower, especially if he is peeing in the toilet, during which you must poke your head dangerously close to the pee stream
- climbing into laundry basket full of warm clothes, to stay cozy (and add wrinkles/cat hair)
shitidiot
tricks of the trade:
shit idiot
buddies
peepers